The Bible: The Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Parenting 2
Dear students in Christ,
"But wisdom is justified of her children." Mathew 11:19
Worksheet 1 in the Family series covered topics from loving discipline to teaching your child how to bring in the money in a Godly innovative way. This particular Bible Study (B.S) guide sheet will be focusing on other ways God directs us to raise our family in a Christ-like manner from home made sacrifices to celebratory meals.
Burnt Offerings
To raise our family in a Christ- like manner one needs to consider firstly, have we thanked our good Lord for our children? One way of doing this is to offer your first born to God. "And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood. And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son." Genesis 22:9-10
Of course, the difficulty here is that if you only have one child (to please Yahweh, it has to be male) or if you are childless then you need to throw away any contraceptives, or get the doctor to undo your tubes. This means that you have to start breeding like rabbits like good True Christians. However, if you have a daughter as a first born child then you need to transform her into a male. This can be done by fashioning a penis out of wax or using an appropriate vegetable, baby carrot will do, or some pliable plastic and use it as a penis substitute. The Lord will be quite frankly pleased at your innovative quick thinking to cheaply sex changing your child for Him.
Let the sacrifice begin!
Glory!
Little Recipes Of Love
"And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other." 1 Kings 3: 24 -25
Following on from child sacrifice is to turn your child offering to God into a festivity - call it Cannibal Day!
"And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son." The Bible suggests here boiling your child but personally I prefer a home made Italian style pasta-baked child with black olives, courgettes, mushrooms, aubergines (eggplant), pasta and herbs. Topped off with a yummy cheese sauce. It should be cooked to perfection making the meat exquisitely succulent
But of course I shall leave you to your personal preferences.
Happy eating!
We Are Family
"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26
The Bible: The Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Parenting also means that raising a Godly family means having to hate them. The New Testament is really quite clear on how we should perceive the role the family plays in the eyes of God. Husbands and wives should in all actuality marry, not out of love but out of a common disliking for each other - what better way to further God's family hate plan than this? And children should be brought up to believe sibling rivalry is not only healthy but again it falls into the Godly tapestry of family unvirtues and family dissolution.
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law). And a man's foes shall be they of his own household." Mathew 10:34 -36
Adopt your enemy and his/her family today!
Any negative emotion such as angst, jealousy, distrust, hate, self hate, loathing, anger etc should not be seen as dysfunctional attributes or qualities but as functional ones. In short you should feel proud and blessed as parents if your children grow up to be anti social, psychopaths, sociopaths, recidivists etc. To allow the emotion of love in your immediate family is really breaking the tenets of all that Christianity stands for. However, if you do back slide and find yourself loving your nearest and dearest then God and my sage advice to you is to seek therapy. Your mind-set will be put right thus enabling you to truly adhere to our Lord's demands.
Don't Call Me Babe
"And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." Matthew 23:9
Children to really show respect to your parents, it is advised that you should use your parents’ first names when addressing them at all times. After all familiarity breeds contempt which again is the whole point of our Lord's doctrine and guideline for the family. It is imperative that for once we follow the directives in the Bible to the letter or else we are all damned which isn't a pleasant thought.
Summary
"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Mathew 7:15
The Bible: Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Parenting clearly outlines family values which are in some cases utilised in today's modern society. However, modern "Christians", find it all too easy to shy away from biblical teaching and practice. Claiming that the rules of the Old Testament are invalid because of the Lord's "new" covenant with His people.
This is a lie propagated by the devil and fundamentalist 'Christians' who are really "The synagogue of Satan". Revelations 2:9, and in short they are nothing more than sheep in wolves clothing.