The Bible: Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Marriage
Dear Students in Christ,
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.." Ephesians 5:25
Surprisingly enough there is actually little written in the Christian Community regarding marriage. Most 'religious' teachings are concerned with re-marriage and divorce and focus on a surface level of the sanctification of the union, and the expectations of the husband for his spouse. The real ins and outs of marriage are more often than not glossed over or ignored. With this in mind the Bible Study (B.S) series of worksheets aims to address not only the popular subjects such as re-marriage and divorce. But to look in depth at the dynamics of a Christian union, what it entails and what one should do if and when a relationship is failing or has failed.
In The Beginning
"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5: 24
It goes without saying that Adam and Eve were the first Biblical couple, but were they actually married? No, they weren't. They were in actuality living in sin. Adam's spare rib (penis) somehow created Eve (with God's help), thus bringing into question the real gender and relationship of Adam and God. It should be noted that this bizarre feat to create or give birth to a woman performed solely and independently by a male has never been achieved since. We are only told that the Genesis Couple are actually made man and wife when "Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived.." Genesis 4:1
The Bible uses the word knew to mean having sexual relations with another.
The 'wedding' of Adam and Eve is rather similar to pagan rites and rituals of old, where to consecrate a marriage the couple consummated their union in public. In this context God (our all-seeing and saucy celestial voyeur) and His angels, would have been witnesses to Adam and Eve's coupling.
Marriage in the good old days became quite shamelessly and brazenly liberal. For instance we are told that "Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah" Genesis 4:19. We are also informed that Abraham had several wives and mistresses (concubines) "Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah." Genesis 25:1 and that " unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country." Genesis 25:6.
Another form of marriage which was condoned and blessed by our Lord is incest."And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came." Genesis 12:5. Incest occurs several times throughout the Old Testament: father and daughter, mother and son, father and daughter in law and brother and sister etc. "And Amram took him Jochebed his father's sister to wife; and she bare him Aaron and Moses." Exodus 6:20
It's remarkably clear that throughout the Old Testament bigamy, polygamy, incest etc was quite rife and that monogamy was frowned upon or rarely practised. Which is quite a telling contrast compared to today's society, which faints at the thought of a marriage with more than one legal spouse and is appalled at the thought of incestuous relationships. But please note that in those early days of tribal life there probably wasn’t enough of us women to go around which could explain such ludicrous arrangements.
Truly, Madly, Deeply
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." Ephesians 5:28
The dynamics of all marriage should be biblically based.
A doting wife should always obey her husband’s instructions to the letter and be as one with him in any subterfuge or the union is meaningless. Point of fact is that the husband, the head of the family has a role of teacher. Teaching skills to his wife such as how to plot the demise of an ex friend or personal enemy of yourself or the Lord’s is a given basic of the bible and an essential basis of matrimonial harmony. To execute a given plan it must be condoned by God and in accordance with our Almighty’s instructions. This in turn glorifies our Lord and Master, pleasing Him no end and as a gift from Him to you, you gain a prestigious blessing from Him. "Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died." Judges 4:2.
Marriage also means to be submissive, compliant and always ready to be at the beck and call of one's spouse, serving the head of the house with obedience, subservience, manic adoration and devotion. All Godly wives should literally hang on to every word that her husband says and acknowledge his superiority with giddy admiration and pride and to ensure her survival she should hide her intelligence after marriage or suffer the consequences later. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
There should be no time for women to harbour thoughts or pretend airs above their station. Women who do these ungodly things are sure to be feminazis, who in turn are agents of the devil or worshippers of the Goddess. They believe that feminism is the way forward to 'happiness' which as we know is a lie propagated by Satan's disciples: lesbians. What sane Christian woman wants to work or put her career before her husband or worse leaves her child in the care of a menial, an au pair for instance? We all know the pit falls of that scenario!
Girls, a Christian wife's place is truly in her husbands home. There she can glorify God and her male counterpart by keeping his house in order and delegating work and other mundane tasks to her husband's harem.
You may think that biblical based marriage is nothing short of slavery - it is. But some modern heathen and Christian relationships, coincidentally, reflect the Biblical Marriage Model: think Islam and (some) western males who for generations secretly yearn to bring back the dark ages. Consider for example those men who abuse, beat, rape, and mentally torture their wives etc. Compare modern treatment of women to those of the past including biblical times and you will note that nothing has noticeably changed over the centuries.
Praise!
The Bible: The Ultimate Grounds For Divorce
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." Ephesians 5:23
But lets take a look at what happens if there is a break down in marriage. You may assume that the logical conclusion and solution is a divorce. But using the Biblical Marriage Model means that solutions to a breakdown in a marriage are quite diverse, unique, innovative and frankly quite interesting.
For instance if a husband suspects his wife of infidelity then it's within his rights to exact proof and punishment. The procedure described in Numbers 5:12 -3, which is quite tedious to write out, describes essentially a bizarre ritual which if she is found guilty means that the wife aborts her child if she is found to be pregnant. "And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed." Numbers 5:27-28.
Another example of infidelity is when a husband has proof of his cheating slut of a wife. The penalty, and quite rightly so, is death. After all what devoted wife would want to sleep with another man when her tyrannical husband is enough, especially when he treats her like a biblical queen. "If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel." Deuteronomy 22:22
Alternatively if a husband doesn't love his wife anymore then he is quite within his rights to use any insubstantial excuse that springs to his mind to get rid of her. For instance to complain that she wasn't a virgin when they were married. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 clearly conveys the message that if the wife is found guilty of not being a virgin before marriage then she must be publicly killed. Infidelity: the ultimate grounds for divorce? "Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." Deuteronomy 22:21
A sure way to know that your wife is faithful, loyal and devoted to you is to pick a fight with a friend, or suspected lover or a stranger off the street. But if she tries to protect this man or his manhood then punishment should be exacted immediately on the disloyal whore. "When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her." Deuteronomy 25: 11-12
The Red Curse
"Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness." Levicticus 18:19.
According to the Bible:The Ultimate Handbook And Guide To Marriage a menstruating woman should be seen and not heard. The guidelines for menstruating women are quite clear, they are to be purified because they are defiling their bodies. See Levicticus 15:19 -30, 33 and Leviticus 12:1-8.
Our Lord hates the sight of blood how odd.
Divine squeamishness? Surely not since our bloodthirsty Lord is renowned for commanding His minions to spill the blood of Israel’s enemies and like Saddam Hussein, God has on more than one occasion spilt the blood of His beloved chosen children (Israel) as part of child discipline.
Summary
"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5:24
Marriage on a biblically based level is seemingly not done out of love but by out of lust and necessity. Love isn't mentioned in biblical relationships only convenience and expediency. There is neither romance within the relationship, everything is based on duty and there is only a gossamer thread of respect and that from the husband who grudgingly bestows it to his wife, wives or mistresses (concubines). She has no rights,or property and is owned. She is subject to the will and whims of her husband. She is despised by God for her monthly 'defilement' and should she prove to be disobedient then at times pays with her life.
Marriage is true S&M.
As True Christians we should embrace the Biblical Marriage Model thus showing the world how close we are to God and that we are being true to ourselves and to our faith and more poignantly to our Judaic/Christian heritage. However, my advice to my sisters who desire to be married or who are married; is that a wife who does have airs above her station should exercise her intelligence with caution and subtlety. Otherwise she may have to pay the penalty with her life.
Paul advocates that marriage is only for those who want to reproduce and advises that men should not marry. But as an after thought he goes on to comment that it is better to marry than to go to hell. Obviously he had the Old Testament laws and guidelines in mind when he wrote this: "But if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn." 1 Corinthians 7:9.
However, as an over view, you may think that the authors of the Bible, our loving God and his mostly male followers are either misogynists, misanthropes or chauvinists or all three. If you think these things then you are quite wrong and I suggest that you rebuke yourself and the devil in the name of Jesus for putting these unwholesome thoughts into your mind.
N.B
Girls: Marriage is not for the faint hearted.